I've always tried too hard. Or maybe, I've never tried harder. To let go.
Endurance for pain
Experiencing all sorts of pain over these months especially these two weeks. It reminds me of Mom everytime pain happens. I'm grateful that my endurance for pain is stronger, for I can't avoid but can only take it. And so one day I can be truly not fearful of anything and take whatever life gives me. Never run away. Never give up. Though I've always wanted to. Contradictorily, no. I usually struggle. Then confront. Then fight. Then run away. In a cyclical way.
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心情不好的时候并不特别想向别人倾诉最多把执著的想通想不通再继续想。不过我现在并没有心事满脑子只有工作计划音乐和怪怪的想法。单独过了三个夜晚。少了个人胡闹，日子安静得几乎听得到在心里的独白。虽然不习惯连作息也颠倒但思路倒是特别清晰。所以我拼命练琴很难的部分莫名奇妙地一下就练好玩游戏...
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慢慢地我被迫独立。或许独立本来就是我的专长，不需要谁我依然生活得好好。开始交了一些新朋友，说不上很要好，但至少我找到少数比较和善的人，至少生活圈子开始有老朋友以外的人。唯一我没办法自己解决的，还是我的情绪。我相信如果我能够剔除这个致命伤，我的生活会由始至终地一帆风顺。 看了第...
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我喜欢心里想着看起来很完美的计划。或许说，有计划的感觉，让未来变得很真实，让自己变得很充实。因为你知道你必须走下去，要走下去才能看得到计划的成果。然，当你一次又一次被阻遏着，因而被迫一次又一次地改变路线，绕道而行，终究我有一点累了。为什么路明明不长，明明可以很平坦，为什么一定会有...
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