Days getting more occupied by projects, students and outings. While I definitely very appreciative of my previous peaceful days where I can really live a quiet life just indulging myself into books and music. But I'm ambitious on the other hand trying to prove myself of my value and worthiness through results and things I do.
a problem finding balance between accomplishment and simplicity. I know I want to achieve not just for myself but also to impress people that I value. Of course at the same time I feel good about what I'm doing now. Only that things are too overwhelming now and I have to admit that I can't take in so much. It's so hard to admit my weakness. I thought I'm always strong.
My sense of self is getting incoherent. Self doubt and self hatred at times, but also narcissistic and proud occasionally.
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