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No matter how hard I try, I will still eventually attach myself to certain beliefs, person, personality to create the ideal sense of identity that I wish to project to other people. Underlying might be the inferiority that I'm not good or worthy enough to be liked. I am always seeking acceptance. Occasionally I tend to be carried away in conversations, and mindlessly react, or say something that I think I shouldn't say just to feed the ego in me. I hate myself particularly for this, because its kind of destroying the sense of perfect and ideal self, and that makes me feel so rejected, by myself.

It seems like the burden of the personality I wish to achieve is affecting me a lot. On the other hand I understand this is actually a reflection of being too self centered. Intellectually I know what's going on in me, but I seriously need a more concrete solution for this.